A Delectable Cum Brownie

Bhagvan

2009-09-07T08:33:00.002-04:00

Life is a magnificient flow. It just ebbs and flows.
Water soaks the dry stones.
Bambboo shoots.
It's a single stream.
Like music it all sort of meshish up.
KAoNG
There is a frog.
And it leaps.
Drop
fall
break down.
break in.
cry in our empty house
we won't be here.
we're never here.
it's always lonely.
what are youu but nothing.
we are nothing
if you wana join, remember that you are nothing.
Anything I write
becomes poetry written by God.
mmmmmmmmmmm
Sleep is just a phase.
thinking is just resting.
When we are sick we think.
We gain knowledge
so when we are aware
we don't become sick again.
or
It's just a distraction.
Whenever I feel hollow
I feel sadness.
I am hollow.
It's sad but true.
I'm worried about what I wirte.
I need an OK
for everything
It's a life of accepting.
Thoughts are in disordance.
I'm a very sensitive person.
I can be hurt.
I can be sad.
I can hate
I can see.
I can cry
I can smell
I can feel.
I have feelings
Pure feelings
And I cannot hide them
no matter how hard I try
I realize them too late
to stop them
Like a waterfall emotions gush out.
Can I stop a waterfall.
The only way to stop a waterfall is to jump in it,
Nothing is out to get you
If you are not out to get it.
I don't do anything
I do nothing
always
Conscious
Breathing
In
Out
Out
Kar shateh tumi harbeh
Kar shateh jhokra kartoso
Just lose already.
It's not like you;ve ever won before.
I don't want to stop typing. Whatever my last sentence will be will define me.
What should I define myself as.
Lovely
I am so lovely, and docile.
I want to know the universe.
When I fully understand, I will give up.
Crying is more beautiful than laughter.

torrents

2009-09-07T08:06:00.002-04:00

Torrenting

-J-drama Hana no yori dango
-Hindi movies
-Weeds s05 11, 12, 13

http://www.collegehumor.com/cutecollegegirl/SageB

I'm gona watch the stuff I downloaded. Period.

Cerebral High

2009-08-30T02:25:00.002-04:00

Dancing

Love aaj kal

2009-08-28T12:00:00.001-04:00

Today feels like fall. I've come a great distance in the past summer.

I feel as if I'm cooling down with the season./

Secrets ofthe Universe

2009-08-27T00:52:00.000-04:00

http://www.astronomy.net/forums/god/messages/32330.shtml

2009-08-25T10:51:00.002-04:00

Crickets. CCCCHHRRRHRHRRrrRRRHRHHRRHR
jkhkuy gbhkjbgh jkvfdvjhygbubgjfuyjkhbiughuygbhgjhkojlmkjm
dcrsfdfdfrdesrserdtferfftytgydrrt54t 5v4ergvrgfterget4tgrtreferfev4gfevgerferfdrrfvdverfvrffvdfdfvsfdfsfddgetfdgetgdfgdfg

So much fun.. Goddamit!

2009-08-24T05:45:00.002-04:00

It's 5:45AM. 'm in my room. Shmoking. it's realy quiet. I can hear myself typing lol. My veoh video is over. i hear crickets. it's august 24. Ramadan. I just ate a banana and grabbed a glass of milk. I just flipped out and said "dicks nigggaaaarRrrr". You think I'm crazy? still just sitting here. M tables making popping noises. I'm really tired, mentally. Does that mean I've exhausted all thinking capabilities for the night? There are alot of Philly towns. I'm learning to type. Shit! Getting high from smelling the weed. Listening to old skooool PKMN gameboy song. XDDDDDD It's a Zubat! I had a good full childhood.

indi potush

2009-08-22T18:57:00.001-04:00

my life as a pussy

i go to mosqku

jaculation

2009-08-15T23:34:00.004-04:00

If I were gay I'd want to make out with every guy I knew.

At prom I felt like I was looked down on by my graduating class for being weird.

When I see The Tings Tings album cover I wana fuck the blonde cutie.

I masturbate about 4-6 times a day.

She's special

Could hozom taco bell right now

2009-08-15T23:29:00.001-04:00

kiss
love
mona lisa
cry
sad
kanji
guitar
dildos
loop
coook
ghetto
dont'
stop
goodsex
cococo
kaya
korin
kulin
kuli
sodit
ckdoal
smdnwia
idjflv
andjew
cndjalw
djaoem
xjndka
sajakalsid
JAWM

Freedom

2009-08-15T23:24:00.002-04:00

Friends=Love
Love=Heartache
Heartache=bleed
bleed=cry
cry=water
water=fluid
fluid=change
change=obama
obama=president
intelligence=love
practice=free

free=peace.

BURDUR TINE

2009-08-15T11:41:00.002-04:00

In other news, Asia has no idea how offensive this is in America. Words are after all words.

We Asians are realy cute

Head buzzzzzz

2009-08-13T03:08:00.002-04:00

I am going to come clean. I am a true JPop lurver. Today I was checking out the Nippon itunes store and I noticed this hot lil number.

I'm no better.

2009-08-13T03:05:00.002-04:00

Gona start watching Bleach, again.
Me=torrent hungry

お帰りかわいいかわいいアシフくん。

2009-08-13T02:30:00.005-04:00

Birds squealed in the hot sky. A tinge of wet spray lolled at my feet. I shivered. Under the blazing, burning sun a small shiver was like a cool spray of wet water. Many trees colored turquiose turned to lime and then Macintosh color and then changing to river red, bloodly ketchup with fruit punch dripping down to the checkered maroon towel on the Chinese flag strewn about the Firey Room. One there was a prince. He was to save the princss from the dragon. He found Merlin the Great Wizard. Merlin helped receive his sword, he kills the dragon. The princess and prince marry and they live happily ever after.

One day a boy comes home. A bully told him, "go kill yourself". His mom noticed his sad face. "A cookie will cheer him up", she thought. The boy sees his mom holding out a cookie for her beautiful, precious, innocent, lovely, adorable, glorious, trustworthy, thoughtful, sincere, courageous, gracious, sweet, sweet life-deserving child. He hugs his mom's legs, unbelievable joy.

I used to listen to paramore. I used to be in that scene. Mu whole goal was to impress girls and blahblah the whole bklah damn thing. I accept my burden of crashing my dad's SUV, wrecking havoc and sadness all over the home, failing from high school, getting arrested, for seriously, a fucking snickers bar, for not answering their beautiful calls of love, cause for real they fucking annoying. So i Umped dem. I felt guilty, but no more. Time to get them to understand, we chill now. I good, mother fucker. lol.
Try.
Bitch.
Get the fuck ofya ass.
You ain't ova.
Not yet, damn nigga.
Pull up yo swagga, yo charisma
Yo charm, courage.
Dawgg.
PEAYCE

Brough to you by THC*

Mahou na kokoro

2009-08-13T02:11:00.002-04:00

A beautiful sunset, it is the early 90's. The orange streaked sun melts into the horizon. Milky stars bleed into infinite abyss. A sweet, sweeet scent thick with paradise coconut spray wafts towards my nose. It's beautiful. It is a tropical sundance heaven. Everyone's cute faces were gently sprinkled with the sun's rays, and their sweet, honeydew smiles would warm you from head to toe. A red chevrolet convertible waits to take you to Hotel Marx. You arrive to see the sky turned to a blood, violent spotty red. Ducks come attacking. All of a sudden you feel your legs give in. A pretty blue dress covers you. The clouds turn aoi aoi kaze kaze blue. Now wings sprout from your meninges. Arrows come at you. OW! Rabbit saw you steal. Now you know that he is your cousin. When you don't feel scared, the world becomes your sweet, home. Anyway. I smell the vintage smell of 70's grandeur. I looked at my brown chest hair floating out of my flamboyantly loose shirt. Once we pull up, I look at the beauty Harley and stare her down. When I order a cheese sandwich she comes up to delivery it. She walks in. Closes the door. She comes over. Pulls out my weiner. Starts blowing. I end up having sex with her. Then it's 8 o'clock. I drive my hot pink convert to the casinos. It's not just a gsme. I try my luck at the cards a=but i find out that i mm have a typewriter andt hen i reremebered my wife had sent my ond sa mission and i was. so i went to hump my plants to let them grow very large lick my schlong. My wife grows beans in the back. One day Geroge fucked me. So I turned gay. Now I hose sillie parties in Ny and sex people of both sexes. I'm pretty good. then I found out that sex isn't everything. There's more. I focused on that. Sex would always be a problemm. I realize I'm not white. I'm not brown even.

Furthy
Forty
Porty
Courtney

What am I?
What am?
What is?
this bO-tst dh!

Alexis Lei, mm yum

2009-08-12T10:06:00.002-04:00

Been looking at dirty pics again

2009-08-11T19:20:00.001-04:00

IWANAFUCKSHAFQAT

Momments

2009-08-11T19:16:00.001-04:00

Dear ****

I have to tell you.
You are beauiful

mm funk yeah

2009-08-11T19:09:00.001-04:00

I should lick my green pis and tell you my name straight. My name is Fagjit Niijernigr

Sex in the City

2009-08-11T18:33:00.003-04:00

So Alice the Pussy dropped into her Bathtub. Her cleanse delicious pssy was drenched in milk. I drank her, she was dicker good. We fucked all night. We kept fucking till my dechk bled then i fudged her she bitching fudgit gout niggar. cdcdcdcsede
Fuckin nigges ers So So MIA COUME IN WE BE SLMAMIONG DIECKS HAVE DECHKFUCKING SIDCKS. SEXdeckhs

i saw where the ddady had her daughter buttfucked. i was so fucking shocked that i blanked it outaz my brain. started crying took me to shuu long nippdick.
its in chinaa. you kn ow sexuliiiidof provice. anydick, lex decks! run ba ma dechk.
suck my cunt biiiitch nigger!
niggger fuckshitnigger goth fuck niggger .

my rents are grully. greesure fuckert. wxjhukbdcsklhd jfkuigjvqnioryiweogyduweyr78qw489f78weue78wygidvse-0dcunuiwctgfvuyby 38ocf bi734ydf89eyriufhewiudyhiuweyd9804ybr8uyhw34idc bnwhjnsdijweh bc89ecf0nudf90sdyfgiunuo9thyiuwunc1278zuy12gweyjqg

Love is magic. Let ATTA control your body, let the mind watch,

at-0chan!
niggaRS FROM AFRIKA ARE THADA SHIT!

I'm kawaii.
I smile cutely.
I'm really fucking friendly.
I love myself.
I think theworld is a place where we all have to try hard to make it a better place
I am happy.
I am cute.
I have cute hair.
i wana have sex with Santogold.
I'm a bad boy. I 'm cutely mean.
Fuck yeuhrgh!
I am cute.

2009-08-11T18:29:00.003-04:00

Unaware right now.... wwoosdfffcdechks!

alright faggit, i'm riding the feelins

it's like a tropi sundfagger

C:WIN98/
C:WIN98/cd pussy
C:WIN98/fagjit

SWEAR FORDS

2009-08-11T13:17:00.002-04:00

I did not mean to get to this page.

So I called Citizens Bank again. The fucking bitxh told me to go fix it at the local branch, piece a shit.

faces

2009-08-09T17:17:00.003-04:00

I like snowboarding
I like writing
I like flowers
I love love
I like new things
i like new cultures
i like confidence
i appreciate inconfidence
i like buttons
i like cookies
i like toys
i like food
i like Indian cuisine
I like Chinese cuisine
I like Japanese food
like pocky, like bonbons, like udon
I like Japanese culture
I like emotional asia
I like hindi music
I like punjab music
i smoke weed
i like relax
i like candy
i like nature
i like the wind
i like toronto
i like new york
i like wisconsin
i like old things
i like remembering
i like experiencing
i like awakening
i like naruto
i like my family
i am a part of them.
i am from bangladesh.
i am from berlin, west
i am canadian
i like america
islam is beautiful.
fucking
dick feels good
fuck niggers
mm
faggits
forgy-fucks
rmmm mfuc
sex
drugs are cool
fucking shit is cool
niggars r not
niggers r faggits
niggerings
kill
.
i love brown girls
i love blondes
i love brunette cuties
i love pussy
i suck dicks
fagg dicks
bangalis ar faggets
white people are fucking retarded.
no sense, retarts
fuck american nigges
hate fuels hate.
my parents are full of shit
my teahers are full of rotting shit
fucking white niggers
trash
my friends pieces of shit
worthless
stupid
headaching faggots
. fat ass shits
fuciking nigger chinese people
dirty pieces of shitrat
rude as shit
racist shits
germans are racist shits
fuck off holy cathlo
fuck your jesus faggopt christ
fucking right wing republifags
fucking dumbshit demofrags
faggot ass springfield
faggot ass poor white
wana fuck amber
*goin to masrbat(
guess not

faith
it's alll i need

2009-08-09T17:14:00.001-04:00

Erm..

This is my voice testing...1..2..3.

This is me.

I am fluent

Down to Earth

2009-08-09T17:11:00.003-04:00

I am talking to you. Here are my words. The words that I speak come out of me. They are my ideas. They are just words. Letters and sounds. I have thoughts. They are coming out. I can communicate. It's as if I'm talking to myself. It's strange. I have to stare at this keyboard. Or I cannot type honestly. It is strange. Whenever I think I cannot type honestly. Now. I have stopped thinking. And words have weight.

KAKAAAKAAKAA

2009-08-09T12:57:00.003-04:00

For old nostalgia's sake

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=KTVH05QM

9/11 FETISH

2009-08-08T14:23:00.003-04:00

After the wake of the Sept 112 attacks it became a taboo to fly planes over NY or having them close to buildings. Shhh it was sucha taboo. You did not speak of it, cause you would be an asshole or terrorist.

http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_36375.aspx

Now it seems like it's sort of a fetish to crash in and around NY and NY state.
Are we gona learn that guilt fuels fetishes?

2009-08-07T12:19:00.002-04:00

I just realized I'm a sweetheart. I've always wanted to be a hardass when now I realize I'm a sweetie. I think I always knew I was a cutie. Lack of confidence, I didn't believe it. Ureshii koto!

I think I'm Gona Live In New York

2009-08-05T22:43:00.003-04:00

I would have a second storey apt in Queens.
I'd go gorcery shopping at MoMo's.
I'd take walks in Central park.
I would walk manhattan all over, shooting pictures.
I would meet a wondeful girl at the park.
I would take her ice skating at the Rockefella's ice rink near Christmas.
We would cozzle under a blanket drinking coffee, watching sunrise from a cold roof.
I would have one of those Platonic love lifes, where it would always be ro mantic.
I woulds do coke and party.
Dress up and shindig.
I would not fart
I would fuck cute little hirlies.

Synth-baby

2009-08-05T22:29:00.002-04:00

Arabs are really assholish, because they have confidence in their stupidity.
Greeks are the same way, but less rattish and more phalus-themed.
Blacks act really blunt and have a guilty problem with using their brains, so they avoid it.
Indians know they are the smartest in the world, but when facing foreign concepts they lose the confident face.
Chinese are the less smarter race, so things are more openly faced.
The Japanese are completely clueless of their sensitivity's root, but enjoy everything with a whimsy touch.
Americans are guilty of not thinking about their actions, forgetting they were perfectly fine the whole time.

Ouch! Fuckyou I'm no racist!

Palestine

2009-08-05T22:19:00.002-04:00

God is in us, as our soul.
Anything you do, it'll will alright.
If you're gona do something, do it.
It's perfectly okay being a hypocrite.
If you like it, then it's real.
Whenever you try, you and I win.
If it's not a part of you, it's gona keep bothering you.
Love yourself
Pay attention to your life, you're not so bad off as you thought.

Smells like smoke.

2009-08-05T19:43:00.002-04:00

I have a worry. It's one of those worries where you know it's just a worry, but you kind of enjoy it sitting there in your head. What happens now? It's a scary thought. Do I continue on this path even though I really can't see what's comning ahead. Or do I fall back on the old rule of switching tactics. I think I will stick it out and see what flows my way. For some reason after coming back from Wisconsin I feel as if I need to do something. It's strange how easily we change to someone else's mood. I must remember patience isavirtue. typing will increase my skills and land me a job.m sexify ym love. i wan type very fast. like superfast. aceepting is rebellin. what slave accepts slavery. he's freee then. my hands feeel tingly.

ART IS MEANT TO BE DESTROYED

2009-08-05T19:24:00.003-04:00

Excerpt #1:
Haven't blogged in awhile. Feels weird to be again. I don't really want to communicate with anything online anymore. Talking to people seems so pointless. I like to stay at home and do nothing. I have always loved it. And that's what I'll do. Once I leave I leave. The best days saved for the last.

Excerpt #2:
I think I want a girlfriend. I've always been looking for one, but didn't really know how to do it. Ask a girl out. I've finally decided to let things develop on their own.

Excerpt #3:
I used to be a brownie confused as white.
Now I'm a white who has brown as ancestry.

Haiku:

Map bribburrs. Fwoo the fan goes.
Index on W.
SwwZYzee-t-!

I can be an anime producer.

Wisdom:

1.Do what you want.

2.Do you what yuigoasqugoiphgtfdevbcnh'

3.

Jobs suck.

Hate being inconfident.
Hate not nderstanding world.
JOB

2009-07-23T00:04:00.002-04:00

pRO DATTEBAYO. Tonikaasku。ポオポオp大尾hの南下なの？子k輪ボケの語ラス。さあ

おはようなあ～　背kk巣しませか？ぇz不ckのwセェセxわな不ck用のｗ。こい今こらまんこにはいる今ふぃ伝t輪sすべてです。
hbｖgfｇf４ｒffｇhjｇjfｇhhｇkjｌsdhjはskjdlfmcrcjlkjふぃおジョイcjjf土井jcj身djfkljgkfkljklfんljvkljdf９う８不c０９うr９んListening to green bird now. i have daymdreasm about this one girl alex. shes cute. i like her....^.. wish i was savvy. like ryan. hes so cool. i would lokie to ave his life. its sad. i also have nice news. ive recently been released and am enjoying progress everday. opopopopopopopopopoopopopopopopopopopopopopoopopopopofucksexsenigger sex fuck weed milkf dick suck cock chill wid yor pain The Significane of "U" sexy cow boy bebop jazz and frnechand trannys and

I've Done MAny Things

2009-07-22T23:49:00.002-04:00

I have done many things that nev Now You're Gone bladstvblasrtblatblats happi !!!!@_@ _O_ *____*^^!!~~~~~##$$%$%%#$#$%^^%^&^&&*()**^&DSSSEVERDAy now youre gione girf for go tuty redffrgg not guilty ima no)t GUILTY IAM NOT GUILTY I MTLIGHOI AM NOIT GUILTY I AM NOT GUILTY I AM NOYT GUILTY I AMN NOT GUILTY
I AM NOT GUITY I AM NOT GUILTY I AM NOT GUILTY I AMN TO GUILTY I AMON T IGUILTY I AM NOT I AM GIUI IAM NOT GUILTY1111 SCHOMOKE!

I'm going on a trip

2009-07-20T02:15:00.003-04:00

So as you might already know I'm going to Wisconsin on Thurs. It's gona be weird to be honest. The dudes I wana chill with, idk if theyre round. And then I wana chill with some peeps from Appleton West who I went to high skool with but never hung out with, but idk what that's gona be like. What is there for us to t4lk abt? Plus everyone seems like an asshole these days. I'm prolly an asshole too.

So anyways. I like APLTown and urrthing but i realize it is very boring. When I was a kid I would spend most of my time @home [via sheltering parents] posting on PokeCommune or "gameboy color it". Thinkin bout taking it with me.

My family izzz chilling in Chicago for a bit, so maybe I can do something there. Hate being couped up.
Might bring some green. Is it worth it?? I've been on the fence bout it since I finished my stash today. I want to. I won't though. Would toeeeeetaly suck if I got busted at the airport.

Or maybe I will get some? And make hot luv to a cute former highskool crush. Mmm. We'll see...muHAhOOII!

'Awesome'

2009-07-20T02:09:00.002-04:00

As you are all aware by now, my computer's a piece of shit.
NEWS
I was reading up on ElderGeek an article on page files. Turns out moving it to another drive and increasing it to 3gb worked out great. It's still slow on the loading, programs and startup, but now itz chull when im using firefox or Vuze, when before when I tried using just Vuze my lappie would just use all of its resources on onlyyy that.

I'm pretty happy bout this. On the other hand the name of my blog i'm not happy bout. I wrote that in a fit of frustration. Kinda hungry. And thirsty.

2009-07-19T18:01:00.003-04:00

Made a new discovery today!

After weeks of contemplation I have figured out how to enjoi myself more. When you smile at yourself tugging feels super warkm and gud and satisfactory. That's why for alll these years when I was tuggiong (back in the TUGBUG Era) I wouldn't get satisfied for very long, maybe just that second I knew I was gona explode. It seems I was doin it asll wrong the whole time. Instead feeling secretive about it, if do it with confidence it feels KIMOCHIIIII./
Also, it gets very warm afterwar5ds and ou feel more relaxed and confident. Super neat huh?

I guess the term MASTURBATION only applies when you are afraid of being found out for liking that thing. Whatever it is.

It Should Be Remembered That The Internet Is A Place Where We Can FAGOUT

2009-07-19T17:42:00.002-04:00

So faggay fuck me.Fuckniggers. MMM fagnigsters. MM YAAMMy. Oh yeah nigger oh yeah nigger. Mhmhmhm. mmmm niiggerrees. fuck! gums and enamel mmm. yamy gay chewy. Wish I had a Gilette blade so I can slice up my gums mmm.

Mmm. All the things in our lives that makes us feel guilty, mmm. yammy. Like my teeth for instance, I like wrapping my lips around my teeeth and try to budge them into moving around, mm. was doin it. So anywya I figured since no nigger reads this blog any way, i can just fag off and not give shit6. Feels good.

So I was watching Paprika. One line, Atsuko. She said something cool. I realized There is meaning in everything in our lives. The objects, our interests, the people, even the weather tells something bout our inner ATTA. I have a fag friend who I can't stand. Like he is so0o0 fagjish that you would wana stop replying to his fagliolious conversations. God, calling him a fagGIT feels realy gud. Kinda wish I could beat the shit out of him. But I only wana kick hikm around so much is because he is me. I used to like what he is. And I don't like myself back then. Sucha smallminded nigger he is. Makes me feel small-minded around him. I'm gona learn how to chill with my inner, creative self.

New World Revelation!

2009-07-16T16:42:00.001-04:00

1. "Genesis" – 3:54
2. "Let There Be Light" – 4:55
3. "D.A.N.C.E." – 4:02
4. "Newjack" – 3:36
5. "Phantom" – 4:22
6. "Phantom Pt. II" – 3:20
7. "Valentine" – 2:56
8. "Tthhee Ppaarrttyy" (featuring Uffie) – 3:46
9. "DVNO" (featuring Mehdi Pinson) – 3:56
10. "Stress" – 4:58
11. "Waters of Nazareth" – 4:25
12. "One Minute to Midnight" – 3:40

My Deep Theory

2009-07-16T00:25:00.004-04:00

So. Here's my theory on gays. They used to be a sort-of undergrnd cult that most people know about but not everyone would get a chance to see one. I'm talking 150 years ago. It would be hush hush. As the cult grew more into a more mainstream thing, people started feeling GUILTY and would start hating on Gays. As faggot became homosexual, more and more people recognized this fetish/cult/guilt as an apparent minority.
Now in the first crescent of the 21st century, as gays run towards equal rights.....do they think they will exist for long?

Wee!

2009-07-15T23:45:00.001-04:00

Gona go enjoy myself!

Eating macaroni hile I type a blog about a story of

2009-07-12T16:50:00.003-04:00

I am running. Have been for awhile now. Don't worry, It's Nothing to worry about. I have everythiung under control. Fucking shut up. Oopsie! Lol im sorry babe letz fuck! Anywah

!soi iam running. From something. You know it, I saw you one day sexing it up[, you ghayd perverse. Well I am running from it. And I don't know where im going. Just keep running. Like or else I will melt away likje water.i wont exist. UGH! Existenme ijs so hard to keep. Why do I try to exist so hard. Aaah. Its like a huge burden,. Hughe effing burden. Life's a tiresome job. But dammn when you do it with energy, it fedels rull good eating sat the kitchen bin in the house and thinking how good today went. Famers I mean. It's a day to day basis liyef. O craZYZYZYZ SURPRIESES. Don't have outside worries, mno one comes. Once I nawhile around thanksgiving it gets hectic. Our family is a big un and we have a loto to take care of fore they get here. But naw, thas biout it for troubles. Easy fuckin lyfe Id sai. Yip. ==============================================================================================================================================================================================t

So I am running. Running from that thing that I hate. It makes me feel not like m. sad. Not realy. I wana throw u. So there's this scary thing that iveonly heard of. People tyell me its so scary that itll make me pee my poant s or evendie.e. fuck I m scared. Im glad ive never seen this ugly gay monster fore. Dyunno if I could live on if I did. So I am running from it. People tell me all sorts of scary adventures with this scary bitch. There are alotta different opionions on it. Some say it gives them he alive eeling, like being born again. Same tell me it's the last thing they would want, after public speking. And yet some like me don't realy think about it till it rears its ugly head at me.SO I keep running. Don't where I'm going. Don't really care. Just wana gerrt away. You know. From it all. Does it Matter whgere we go? Walking in the rain is sort of like that. You can go away. To somewhere Else. No worries. I like to run. It makes my life have purpose. It feels good to know that I have reason to runh. Feels reqally good knowing that I'm following a ture path. SonmethSoemthing that believ in So I am running. From it everything. Really good fro thighs I hear. That's what everyone tells me. Exceruising is good. Right? Anyway I like to run. It clears my head oof evil things that conjurte up in my miund. Ew. I hate those things. Don't like dwellion them. Terrible. I feel right now. Shes too close but shes my mom. Why isd it that I am scared to love my parents, my family, my relatives. Actuall y im beginning to love my relatives. Anyway so I am running. Shit I can see something. Don't wana find out mannn!. So I am running ;. Away from it. ALL. Oh shit there it is again. Fuyck where do I go now????Shit I have nowhere to go. FUCKKKK. Oh no. Fuck theyre everyhwerre wehat do I do. Totlally scared, gota find a way ouyt. Shhitttttttshithsiohtishtihshitshitshitdsh=tshithshit. Ah,. Whew its gone fro now. Wants some cake. Really jhujhngry. Death is fucking scarfy. I am scared feckless of deatrh.i have zero control.so I am running. I love running. SHIT THERE's the cliffffffff

Ffff

Fffffff

AAAAAH

AAAAH

AAAAh

ASAAAHGSHHHAAGHA!!!

!!!!....

…….:

…:.;'.:[;[;]./….>/./..;l.';

./..';../

./.'l'lp?

./././.

.,.,.

…..

.I give up.

*Life is so, so good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8

the end...??

2009-07-10T21:43:00.004-04:00

Feel totaly lost
like wish i could cry
fuck.
life is so pointless.
why am i like this
?
hate my lyfe
it hurt my heart
.
i think im too scared to enjoi myself
i love myself. idont want to lie anymore.
you know when the earth feels like it just dumped all its manure on you?
that's where i think i'll be in a few minutes time.
tryin to find something that makes sense
guess nothing does
who knows>
do you believe in God?
i do, buit then i dont
sortof embarassed to admit that i want to.
i feel religion is a strong support pillar for life.
if youy didn t have religion, wghat is there real to hope for?
it's sad existence.
when dudes are down and worried, who do you look to?
but i dont like the religions where you have to do shit that you dont want to. i mean the first time is a new exp but then its like shoveling turd down your throat.
want a religion that makes sense.
one that actualy talks to me, and gives me advice on how to live lyfe.
cuz seriously life isd fuckin hard.
whatever we seem to do doesnt seem to matter.
what matters in the end anyway?
Luv?
caring for your loved ones?
bold things?
no i dont think so.
forgive me for being so brass
but i fuckin blieve
that i neeedd to cry////
after i cry, dont realy care what i was crying bout anymore.
i rmember the dane cook take.
i just keep crying in circles.
seems sortof forced.
wana hear something funny?
isometimes yawn when
i forcecry.
is sadness a mind thing?
are we taught to be sad?
wish i could unlearn.

here's what i have to say to everthing.

hi
hey
whatsup
fuckin around on fb you?
chuillen
you wana do something tonight?
like what
like walk and smoke and chill.
cant dude have a paper to write
c'monnnnn
sorry man
*sign off*
sad.
wish i had a purpose in life.
where are my pills??

2009-07-10T20:46:00.002-04:00

Kanye West is rappin
fly off into NASA
whut he talking about
he jus chillen
damn iz a slick fukin beat
right b!tch?
why u so mean dont be
we cool like water
fuck all the old shizz
aint nothin
aint nothin ho
we all love now

UH UHHH
so i took this pill right?
itz osxy
but not like oxycontin
the other oxy.
i feel chill
felt chill from the start
actualy im kinda scared
idk why
i need to chill
out
listening to music
SUPAFLY
keep thinking im fucvkinmg myself over
breaking bones and shit like that

need to read some feel good stuff.
brb peace.

Feels surprisingly refreshing finding these lil jems.

2009-07-09T04:25:00.004-04:00

Just discovered an awesome group. I think they're called Mirah. The chick sounds realy cute and indie jus cuz she likes to whisper words in your ears. OHDICKIMBAKED! My fave song has to be all the songs. (whisper dirty strings of sexual dung in HER ear for a change)

Culture $H0C|<

2009-07-09T04:12:00.003-04:00

Found this on this on NihonSun . *sigh*. What would our Japanese brothers and sisters think of the O Line?

Top10 PKCHRS

2009-07-09T02:56:00.004-04:00

Top10 interesting pikchurs.

10Looks like Troll Gummies!

9"Stimulation"

8Makes me think of "a moment in time."

You will when yuu believe...../..

2009-07-09T02:29:00.002-04:00

This is the song that played during Graduation. Fck dude. I'm tearing up inside );
I 'member when I had to fuckin sing that song. Tears were falling on the ground like bombs over Baghdad. Kevin was chill back then. He took good care of me. Fuzzily I recall standing with choir watching my class walk. It's as if I couldn't enjoi the celebrations they had for everyone else.
It was at that point where I stood realizing whata fuckup I was. I have alotta regrets and sadness built up and I just wana let it all out. Crying sounds like a good deal. Remember. ALWAYS REMEMBER WHO YUU ARE.

Sometimes I Lyke to Not Make Any Fuckin Sense At all

2009-07-09T02:13:00.003-04:00

When hoppin' over pigs 'member to watch out for the cheese that's left grated by the farmer's fuckin wife so you would trip and she can catch you and tell you that you were trespassing on her gay ass lawn that she keeps pruned by tweaking buttjuice from her eyes on to the lightness of air so molecules can pass thru you making amends on the way to destiny cyrus milking many moms while feeding many baes cuz dey thristy as saps up in 'Quebec' in da wintre time where we like to get close to each other and feel united even tho son does coke and girl does oral to superintendent b!tch SKINNEr who likes to wear blue suits, so like i was totes watching valley girl pilot '10 tings i friklen hate bout you', totes thought a bug was my hair or vice versa.

whew that was long bitch!

Cutest fuckin gurl OhhHhhWooo!!

2009-07-09T01:42:00.003-04:00

Remember when we used have Platonic Luv? I do. When I was eine kinder whenever I would see a realy pretty cute girl I would feel like she was my destiny. I would feel like I would have to do anything to win her, like EVRYTHING. Thing is, it doesn't work like that. I would never do nything right. Untillll, one day I was like wait? Do I feel guilty for ttrying? I do?/did. And then it happened.
Still don't understand girls or people that well in general, but I think my main focus has become me. Can't go tackling the frijjen world w/o tackling my own problems hey?

WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOAWAWAAAAAWAHHHHHHH. My eyes opened.
Today the number of females has significantly decreased in the Mokohama district. Currently the area has been shut off to the public because of the mini-revolutions that that place inside. The refugees are more than evr getting more and more organized. The Japanese Diet has mulled it over and has come to the decision that they will bomb the site. Despearte times call for desperate measures. Right?

Bossa Nova

2009-07-09T01:12:00.003-04:00

Listening to some Bossa Nova right now,l pretty chill. Took a muscle relaxer today, whatever that means. First few minutes I was all oozy, like my legs had become meat legs. Walked alll over. Tried Tomodatchi for another eighth baggy, so I could totaly smke all week again. Failed. Tried calling Q1,2,3,Drugs. Fehlur! excuse the missing umlan. I walked from T campus to frankford and back and finally got a call from sumbitch Q Drugs. Took the O line to CC to meet him but the bitch didn't seem like he was interested in making some moolah today via not showing up. Been texting evryone at this point. Been texting the president of the united states. been texting al sharpton. been texting every fuckin one. So i take a chill spot @rittenhouse, and watch people. Kept telling myself something would 'tualy take me to cash. So i overhear this hippie fucker talking about 'POT'. It was like fate kicked me in the fuckin face, ow! I asked the hippie chill dude to point in the direction of some cash and he points me to nother dude. Let's calll him Pappi. I end gettin' a d-bag. smelt gud so i dint give fuck. Threw a muscle relax pill. Also bought some other goodies hehehehhehehhe! It was a long day, with ups and downs, but ups and downs more similar to driving on a golf course, not very extreme.
Get some!:

2009-07-07T19:42:00.005-04:00

cuddly AZN

2009-07-07T18:34:00.005-04:00

I just logged on to youtube and this video cums up under my recommendations. i got one of those 'i feel like i have to masterbate to her' feelings.

Makes me wish there were more cute+confident asians like her in the world. it seems like they are always trying to find ways to look 'damn fucking cute'. Ooh ooh! the background music is none other than LG!. Btw don't watch the rest of the video it's kinda fucking boring.. This video reminds me of the 'Frienger video'I ended up falling in love with a couple of years of ago [give or take 2 years].

I think she went too far, alienating me from liking her music. I used to think 'man i would look indie/fresh if i had her shirt'. I was ina phase where having obscure things and being knowledgable about them made me think i was cool.

i liked the 'frienger' combination, but now it seems real stupid. i was gona go on a rant about pwr rngrs next but i thought i'd stick to something more 'relevant. I was goin to put this kewl video up but it took so long to load on my shitty computer that i gave up.

2009-07-07T17:16:00.002-04:00

emma watson is realy kinky, hehe.

Carles is amusing. Mmhaha.

2009-07-07T15:58:00.008-04:00

I hate how I have to put @hotmail.com to sign in to my email. anyw2y that's what i'm doing right now. i feel like it's my obligation to check my 4+ email accounts. That's what sucks bout being 'part of so many membership required' soshnetwie sites. Have bout 2695 Unread messages sitting in my inbox. gha! there all stupid subscriber shit mails.

>>>anyW40, for the past couple months i've 'realy been downing' urrthing carles has been posting onhis siteblog . for my friend ryan it's realy funny, and it's realy funnie for me too, but i kinda go on it to pick up some tips on 'being a better hipster'. sometimes i comment on his posts. i feel like i'm better than the ppl who try 2 b him on comments. am i in the end just as guilty of being 'a faggot?'WOO just did an armdance to LG baby. >>>>.<<<< excuse me 'lol.' Oh another thing! Crls seems to have a ting for Suga Gaga. He's @LLways posting someting about her. But anyw40 he seems to have realy good insights. oh btw don't type in hipster.com, it's like 'a NV isp.'

+++In his post about Twilight, "Twilight has also ‘branded itself’ with the type of music that the band PARAMORE makes. I feel like ‘lonely girls’ think that this type of music is the only art that can express their sense of darkness+hope. The lead singer is a female, and she also ‘dyes her hair zany colors’, so I think that is something that sheltered girls do to ‘express themselves’ while still ‘promising to make all A’s in school.’" [via c-Money].

Guess that's y all those gals that I still kno from high skool like it so much. anyw40 he makes lotsa sense. i feel like he's the older version of me. after i stop listening to emo/hardcore/posth-core/j-pop/avril lavigne i think i'll proly take over for c-dog.

Possible future look for Kuji_89-san

Desolate.

2009-07-07T13:44:00.005-04:00

So I ran out today. It kinda fukin sax. I was gona head down to NP for some more but i was like i don't rewaly feel like it. I'm still in my pjs and i feel realy lazy and dirty. Kinda want to increase my dirty feeling by touching my schlangu! I feel like im at the end of something. everything's realy still right now, like you can hear the wind whisper. gota looug, brb. i actually had a delicious mocha cocha ice cream cake. it was good. I guess what I realy wana say is I wana be myself. And I know however you like yourself other people like you. But I wana do things only for myself, Is That So Much To Ask? I took a pause and I wondered, can I just cry already? I wana watch an anime movie where the world is on a platonic end and the apocalypse hangs on to the main characters decision. I think I understand what carles means now when he says 'relevance'. Something that keep s us wanting more, or makes us feel like our image still has importance. I think even when you force a smile, if you don't care it becomes real :)

2009-07-07T12:44:00.002-04:00

I want to spray my essence all over the Japanese mainland. It is foolproof that I can poke myself in every crevixce the country has to offer. My exact plans can not be disclosed yet, but my main objective is to inseminate my brain with their terrific culture, so as to flourish my existence into ultratronic cool vibe. Real speech only exists when you conf'dent in your words. Harsh slanted change hurts, but each new blistering wound leaves you vulnerable to the truth. I can get frust'rated with all the little nuances of the JApanese humans but only to go home with blistering wounds. If i learn from the hurts I can grow. Too often I don't want to try at life because I feell like I will most definitely fail. The rare times I do try something I fail miserably, so I never try it again. I have to think myself into feeling alright about my failure--- When all I really want is to get over it and try again. I think a sign of strength of character is how quickly someone can bounce back to their feets after feeling down. I want to finally be able to have the oppurtunity of struggling to survive again, just like when I was a baby. But this time I want to keep trying and tryingbecause I know when you stop feeling guilty about life anything and everything becomes a beautiful time. Make sme happy daydreaming about lving in JKapan. It see ms really far. There are obstacles, don't know how they will turn out. But thing's are alright. When I stop caring things seem to flow easier. Like I said in the other essays for the program acceptance, when there's no change we become depressed statues. Wouldn't you rather be a fireball, calm yet burning with energy.Can you imagine yourself losing all your worries because everything feels good?? I want to not feel guilty and try everything in Japan, watering and loving my soul as it finally stretches its arms into infinity. Whatever I do, if I'm full-faced and self-loving people will always be able to tell my true intentions. I promise I will have fun when I land in NArita kuuko.