I want to spray my essence all over the Japanese mainland. It is foolproof that I can poke myself in every crevixce the country has to offer. My exact plans can not be disclosed yet, but my main objective is to inseminate my brain with their terrific culture, so as to flourish my existence into ultratronic cool vibe. Real speech only exists when you conf'dent in your words. Harsh slanted change hurts, but each new blistering wound leaves you vulnerable to the truth. I can get frust'rated with all the little nuances of the JApanese humans but only to go home with blistering wounds. If i learn from the hurts I can grow. Too often I don't want to try at life because I feell like I will most definitely fail. The rare times I do try something I fail miserably, so I never try it again. I have to think myself into feeling alright about my failure--- When all I really want is to get over it and try again. I think a sign of strength of character is how quickly someone can bounce back to their feets after feeling down. I want to finally be able to have the oppurtunity of struggling to survive again, just like when I was a baby. But this time I want to keep trying and tryingbecause I know when you stop feeling guilty about life anything and everything becomes a beautiful time. Make sme happy daydreaming about lving in JKapan. It see ms really far. There are obstacles, don't know how they will turn out. But thing's are alright. When I stop caring things seem to flow easier. Like I said in the other essays for the program acceptance, when there's no change we become depressed statues. Wouldn't you rather be a fireball, calm yet burning with energy.Can you imagine yourself losing all your worries because everything feels good?? I want to not feel guilty and try everything in Japan, watering and loving my soul as it finally stretches its arms into infinity. Whatever I do, if I'm full-faced and self-loving people will always be able to tell my true intentions. I promise I will have fun when I land in NArita kuuko.